Maybe he just genuinely loves his granddaughter and there’s nothing more to it than that, but that doesn’t mean you have to be at his beck and call to send pictures and videos
I need some advice .. My FIL is obsessed with my daughter. He wants to see her multiple times a week, wants to FaceTime, talks constantly about how he wants her to love and trust him, always asking for pictures and videos and then sends those pictures and videos to everyone he knows. Maybe because I didn’t grow up in a really loving household, this dynamic he’s trying to create gives me the ick. It makes me uncomfortable and he’s a manipulative and controlling person so I don’t necessarily think his motives are sexual but maybe that he’s trying to form an attachment in order to control her?
He sent me a text today saying “I miss her beautiful smile and big brown eyes” and while it seems harmless, I’m not used to a grown man making so many comments about a little girl’s features. He comments on her appearance when he comes to visit too.
My grandma will text me daily to ask for pictures of my son, but she’s the only one lol. If my FIL or MIL did that, I might feel a bit smothered – they can ask their own son to send pictures, it doesn’t need to go through me. Does he only reach out to you for FTs and pics or does he ask your partner as well?
I also don’t like that he’s sending them out, just for privacy reasons. It’s one thing if he’s showing off his grandbaby to friends when they get together, but I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy to text pictures you send to other people. I set this boundary with my own family early on that the pictures I send them are for them, not for other people, because I don’t know the people they are sending them to. Even if it’s innocent and with good intentions, there has to be limits!
Bottom line, if it’s giving you the ick or annoying you or making you uncomfortable in any way, you don’t owe him anything! İncele
