I recalled today that I used to work with a man who had married his AP. His affair had happened during his first marriage and he had a child with his first wife. This man would constantly deride his first wife to me and other colleagues and it was never even relevant to a conversation. However, what was always amusing at the time was that she always drove to collect him from work. he wasn’t allowed to drive himself to and from work. So, if we were working on a case together and had to stay late (nothing was going on with us either – it was work) she would be on the phone to him every five minutes before showing up to collect him. Sometimes she would phone and ask to speak to me and remind me that she was his wife and needed him to stop work to look afetr his children, things like that. It was always a bit weird. Sometimes she would literally arrive in the office, out of the blue and in quite a state, literally frothing at the mouth with anger that he was still in the office. He would have to stop work to appease her and get her to calm down and leave so he could finish work. So, this OW had got her MM, just what she wanted. But what she’d also got was a lifetime of her own medicine and she didn’t like the taste of it.
Plus I can’t imagine hurting someone’s kids the way ours have been hurt
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this story. She really punched her ticket for the Karma bus, didn’t she? I am sure that she will never, ever trust him. It will likely drive them apart in the end, and likely he will blame his first wife for that too. People are so blind!
That’s priceless and they will probably divorce anyway. Those marriages don’t make it because they never had a foundation of trust.
Once she’d left he would just look exhausted and occasionally whinged kissbrides.com sГtio that she was paranoid about him but he would always add that ‘well, I shou;d’ve known she’d end up like that’
That is what I call a lifetime of bad Karma for both of them! I guess he had to deride his ex-wife because he was so freaking miserable of course it would be her fault too. Maybe she rejected the stupid cheating, bastard.
The CS may have “affaired down” but that is not the OW/OM fault. Our spouses chose them for whatever quality they had and I believe that says more about our spouses than the AP’s. I’m sure I will get strong condemnation for this but as I told my H. I cannot worry about the OW anymore because he could kick the trash can and 10 more could take her place. She was no challenge and offered herself up on a platter and my loving, faithful, committed, honest, trustworthy husband took her up on it. I’m done wanting revenge on her. She is having her own bad Karma because she lost everything. I’m not giving her my power anymore.
No condemnation here. I agree with you. I will admit that I do have anger towards her, as she admits she pursued him relentlessly over a long period of time. BUT. He gave in. He is the one who vowed to be faithful to me, not her. He is the one who owed fidelity to our ily. I’m with you on not giving her anymore of my power. I am actively working on this right now. I deleted a lot of blogs I used to read regularly, and I am trying to stop seeing myself as a “betrayed spouse”. I have spent quite a bit of time seeing that as who I am, instead of what happened to me. And in fairness, while he cheated on me, I am trying not to define HIM as a “cheating” spouse anymore. Yes he cheated, but he is working on his issues and has truly made big changes as well as shown genuine remorse.
